Dear community,
Happy Valentine’s Day to all those who mark this day. My partner and I celebrated our 18th dating anniversary earlier this month, and tend to sit V Day out.
A few weeks ago, we kicked off our ‘Let’s get distance from screens’ series of nudges — to take back our attention and time from technologies that wrest them away.
Remember the big water hose, cartoon-style, whose force yanks around the poor animal holding it and leaves him wet and bewildered? That’s what modern technologies can do to our brains and attention spans. Instead of us being in steady, calm control of what we pay attention to, we are jerked around by all the attention-vying competition for our eyeballs and brainspace.
The struggle is real: A recent US survey found that almost 60% of adults consider ourselves addicted to our phones; nearly 90% check our phones within 10 minutes of waking up; and on average, we spend 4 hours, 25 minutes a day on them.
So feel free to refer back to what we’ve done already: In our first week, we practiced not reaching for devices during ‘in between’ times, such as when we wait in line. In our second week, we practiced the ‘other room’ strategy to create tech-free zones — and put ourselves increasingly back in the driver’s seat of how we allocate our time and attention.
Nearly 4 in 9 members of our community set specific intentions for 2024. It’s wondrous how much optimism we can feel with the dawn of a new year, and harnessing this belief in our untapped potential can enable us to make remarkable changes. It’s even more important for us to access that intentionality and self-belief during the rest of the year. The truth is, we don’t need new beginnings to compel us: We can create meaningful change whenever we believe we can.
Take the impressive example of journalist Kashmir Hill: She spent a whole month off her smartphone and instead used a flip phone that only had text and call functionality — stepping back in time a couple of decades.
Some notable pearls from her journey:
I survived, even thrived during the month.
It was a relief to unplug my brain from the internet on a regular basis and for hours at a time. I read four books. I did a very cool, “magic” jigsaw puzzle. I went on long runs with my husband, during which we talked, rather than retreating into separate audio universes with AirPods.
I felt that I had more time, and more control over what to do with it.
After about two weeks, I noticed I’d lost my “thumb twitch” — a physical urge to check my phone in the morning, at red lights, waiting for an elevator or at any other moment when my mind had a brief opportunity to wander.
“Your face looks less stressed,” my husband observed, when I asked him if he’d noticed any changes in me…
…I asked my 7-year-old what she thought of this “flip phone mom.”
“I like it better. You don’t look at your phone as much and you spend more time playing with me,” she said, making me feel both wonderful and terrible.
If you find yourself feeling wistful for this kind of reality, today’s challenge is for you.
Recognizing that a full smartphone freeze may not be realistic for some of us, we can still channel Ms Hill’s journey. Consider this question:
What apps or technologies particularly steal your focus?
With this in mind, here’s this week’s challenge:
Make your device more boring in general.
Intentionally create friction around the use of attention-draining apps.
Here’s how:
Convert your device to grayscale either full-time or just at key times (ie during meals, work, and/or at dusk — for better sleep).
Simply switching a smartphone to grayscale reduced screen time by 18% in one study (though interestingly, didn’t impact downstream metrics of self-rated well-being and academic performance). Here are instructions for how to do this.
Delete the apps that most steal your focus off your handheld device(s). Create added friction around their use. For instance, you might designate limited times to engage them — from a computer instead of a phone.
Experiment with steps big and small to create friction around using apps that are your proverbial water hose — to discover what strategies work best for you. Share yours here.
For instance, I once deleted my work email and a key social media app from my phone, and designated specific times twice a day to check in and reply to messages from a computer. This worked well for me because I’m only on my computer during the work day (but have my phone on me at other times). So I made social media and email a part of my working hours, and eliminated their presence from my downtime. These apps were no longer commanding my attention first thing in the morning or at night. This practice also helped me understand that emails are not truly urgent and don’t require my constant attention.
I was still timely in responding without feeling beholden to my inbox or social channels — and was much more in control of how I spent my time and energy. For example, I could proactively set intentions every morning, regardless of what was waiting for me in my inbox. I had more mental space for deep work and quality interactions, because most of my day was free of interruptions from messages and my feed.
Experiment with your own ways to insert friction around key technologies to get back in the driver’s seat of how and when you engage them.
As you do this, I invite you to share your journey in our community chat:
What strategies particularly worked for you?
Did you notice any changes in your relationship with your devices and/or quality of your presence in the ‘real world’?
Wishing you light and more controlled screen use,
Dr Devika Bhushan
If you enjoyed this post, explore these others:
Worth a look: Shrinking
Spread the light: Mental health costs of breastfeeding
Where in the world? It’s always above us. BONUS: Tips for traveling with kids
Revisit all prior posts here. Submit any feedback or questions to explore in future posts by replying to this email.
Wonderful idea. This is perfect timing for us to get back in the driver's seat and let go of the control that social media and our smartphones have on us.